Without Pretense Read online

  “Okay, then let’s do it together.”

  Ava and Bianca were nearly the last to board the plane, but they did make it on. Bianca wouldn’t let go of Ava’s hand, and that was fine with Ava. She couldn’t forget the look of sheer terror on Bianca’s face a short time ago. She wanted to protect her from that pain. Once they were seated and buckled in, Ava asked the flight attendant for two gin and tonics. When the drinks were placed in front of her she handed one to Bianca. “Here, drink this.”

  Bianca quickly consumed the first drink.

  Ava swapped the empty glass for the still full one. “Sip this one.”

  Bianca took a sip and set the glass on her own tray before looking at Ava. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

  “You’re welcome.” It’s all I ever wanted to do.

  As the flight attendants made final preparations for takeoff, Ava looked at Bianca. “Tell me about your sister Elena. You said she was in law school, right?”

  Later, when Bianca had time to think about it, she realized the distraction Ava created kept her from being fully aware of taxiing and takeoff. She added that to her growing list of reasons to be grateful to Ava. They were underway. Time would tell how many weeks they would spend together. But Bianca was excited by the possibilities ahead of them.

  Ava made so many things possible. After Karen died in a plane crash, Bianca wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to fly again. She’d taken this job knowing how much travel was involved. It had lingered in the back of her mind since she’d signed onto the project. But, the idea of getting to spend time with Ava always outweighed her fears. At least until she had to get on the plane.

  Ava had helped her through that though. Bianca wondered how she was able to distract her. The simple touch of Ava’s hand seemed to ground her, calm her, and in the right moments, excite her. She knew getting on a plane wouldn’t be easy, at least for a while, but in this moment, she knew if Ava was by her side, she would be able to do it. For the first time she knew she really could travel on the tour. Thank you, Ava.

  ***

  Bianca found she very much appreciated not having to oversee all the travel details. Vicki took care of everything. All she had to do was show up and keep up. As the group walked into the Fairmont Hotel atop Nob Hill, Bianca stopped to take in the grand details of the lobby. The expansive and opulent entrance and lobby were beautiful.

  When Bianca had visited the city in the past, she’d never made it inside this building. It was out of her price range. This was all too much, a little dream like. She didn’t plan to get used to it. She would say something to Ava when she had a chance. She didn’t need to stay in any place so fancy. She’d also talk to Vicki. Vicki was Ava’s assistant, not hers, and Bianca was perfectly capable of handling her own affairs. But since Vicki had all the information and she didn’t, it was easier for now.

  While Vicki dealt with hotel check-in, Ava pulled Bianca aside. “There’s nothing on the agenda for tonight. I’d like to have dinner with you, just the two of us.”

  Bianca was fully aware of both the nervousness and the desire in Ava’s eyes. “I would enjoy that. I don’t have plans to see my sister until tomorrow since she has class tonight.”

  Ava’s smile lit her whole face. “Lovely, I’ll stop by your room at six.”

  “I’m looking forward to it. Ava, I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

  “Sure. What is it?”

  “I don’t need to stay at such an expensive hotel. I’m perfectly happy to stay somewhere more reasonable.”

  The corners of Ava’s mouth turned down into a small frown. “I certainly don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But I do like having you close. Everyone on the team stays at the same hotel as a matter of convenience for Vicki, so she can book the rooms more efficiently. I don’t want you to worry about the expense of any of the places we’ll stay. It’s just a part of the deal.”

  Bianca breathed out a sigh. What Ava said made sense. She’d learn to go with it, maybe in time. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

  “No question about it. You’re where I want you too, so it’s good for me and easy for Vicki.”

  Vicki approached them, and the bellhops stood at the ready with their bags. Vicki said, “You two are on the same floor. I’ll take you up and make sure you have everything you need.”

  Bianca followed silently. She wasn’t used to being waited on so attentively. But since everyone was headed in the same direction, there was no point in objecting.

  She certainly didn’t fault Ava for having an assistant. It made sense that someone could handle all those details for her so she could focus on her music. But once Bianca was done with the story, sooner if Ava wouldn’t let her write it, she’d go back to Stockbridge and be on her own again.

  The entire party stopped at the end of the hall. Vicki held out an envelope to Bianca and indicated the room on the left. “Bianca, this is your room.”

  Bianca used the key card to push her way into the room, a bellhop close on her heels. She got caught up looking out the wall of windows at the stunning view. By the time she turned, Vicki was tipping the bellhop. Once he left, Bianca stopped her. “Vicki, I could have done that. You don’t need to take care of every little thing for me. I’m working, too.”

  Vicki smiled kindly. “It’s my job.”

  “No, you’re Ava’s assistant.”

  “Right, and she asked me to handle all the details for you just as I do for her.”

  “I appreciate it and you’re really good at your job, but it’s not necessary.”

  “It’s what the boss wants and she gets what she wants. You’ll have to take it up with her.”

  “Thank you for everything.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  ***

  Ava turned from the window as Vicki let herself into the room with the spare key. “Is Bianca all settled in?”

  “She’s getting there. She’s uncomfortable with me handling all the details.”

  “Is it a problem for you?”

  “Of course not, it’s not much more work than I’m already doing.”

  “I’ll talk to her. I do appreciate it and all that you do. I want her to be able to focus on why she’s here and enjoy her time.”

  Vicki grinned. It was clear she understood what Ava wasn’t saying as much as what she had.

  Ava turned back to the window before asking, “The reservations are all set for tonight?”

  “Yes, dinner for two at seven at Gary Danko. The special arrangements you requested will be accommodated. The car will be downstairs waiting for you at six so you have a bit of time to wander around the city if you want.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Once Vicki left, Ava considered walking across the hall to chat with Bianca, but she didn’t want to disturb her if she was resting. Instead, she sent her a quick text letting her know where they’d be having dinner. Then she took out her laptop and plugged in her headphones. She was feeling very inspired lately. She planned to spend the next few hours working on her latest composition. Hopefully, that would help her pass the time so she didn’t wear a hole in the carpet pacing, waiting to take Bianca on a real date.

  Chapter Six

  At precisely six, Ava closed her hotel room door and took the four steps across the hallway. She took a deep breath and rapped her knuckles sharply on Bianca’s door. Bianca opened it. Ava took in all of Bianca in a simple but elegant red dress. Her luminous black curls cascaded over her shoulders. Her makeup expertly applied it almost appeared she had none on. “Wow. You are gorgeous,” Ava said.

  “Thank you. After you told me where we were going I looked it up and saw how fancy it is. How did you manage to get a reservation? It looks like they book months in advance.”

  “I have a few tricks up my sleeve, or I should say Vicki does, and I wanted to spoil you a little.”

  “I hope you know I don’t need to be spoiled. But since the food looks so good,
I’ll let you this time.”

  “Fair enough. The car is waiting downstairs. Shall we?”

  Bianca wrapped her arm around Ava’s outstretched arm. “Absolutely.”

  “We have a little extra time before dinner. Would you like to do a little sightseeing?”

  “Sure, but I wouldn’t mind doing some after dinner as well.”

  Ava couldn’t decide from Bianca’s tone if she was talking about seeing San Francisco or something more intimate. She decided to err on the side of caution. “We can certainly do that. We have the car as long as we want it this evening. I did ask the driver to take us down Lombard Street on the way.”

  “I’d love to see it again. Do you have places you like to revisit in all the cities you tour?”

  “Most of them and I’m looking forward to sharing them with you,” Ava said, hoping she wasn’t giving away too much.

  “I can’t wait.”

  As the driver slowly navigated the hairpin turns of Lombard Street, Bianca turned from the window to find Ava watching her intently. She slid closer to her. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m wonderful.” Ava laid her hand on Bianca’s leg.

  “What are you thinking about?” Bianca asked as she linked her fingers with Ava’s.

  “You.”

  “What about me?”

  “I was just thinking about how much I’m enjoying spending time with you.”

  “The feeling is mutual.”

  “I’m glad. Is there anything you’d like to see this evening?”

  “No, I’m along for the ride, willing to go wherever you’d like to show me.”

  “I thought perhaps we could drive down the Embarcadero and explore a bit of Fisherman’s Wharf before dinner.”

  “That sounds lovely.”

  ***

  Ava reached for Bianca’s hand as they got out of the car and kept hold of it as they walked into the restaurant. They were shown to their table immediately. Once their drinks arrived, Bianca raised her glass. “Here’s to new experiences and to getting to know one another better.”

  “Cheers.” Ava set her drink down and leaned forward. “Can I ask you something personal?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s your biggest regret in life?”

  “Oh my, nothing like starting with an easy one.”

  “You can choose not to answer, but I really want to get to know you. I figure if we start with some of the harder stuff, the rest will come more quickly.”

  “Fair enough. But I hope you’re ready for this.”

  “Come on, then.”

  “I’d have to say my biggest regret in life is that I’ll never get to know my daughter.”

  Ava laid her hand on Bianca’s on top of the table. She still misses her unborn daughter. There is no way I can tell her about Lara. She would hate me if she knew I gave up my daughter when she’ll never have the chance to meet hers. “I’m so sorry.” It didn’t feel like enough, but Ava didn’t know what else to say.

  “Yeah, me too. I would have loved raising a little girl. Like you said earlier, maybe it will still happen one day. Anyway, perhaps we can talk about something else. We got interrupted when I asked this question earlier. Have you ever thought about having kids?”

  Ava took a sip to buy time to formulate her answer. “I have a lot actually. But with all the travel I do, it doesn’t seem fair to raise children in this environment.”

  “I don’t know. I think children can cope with a lot if they know they’re loved and you’ll always be there for them. But that brings up another interesting question. Have you ever considered when or if you’ll stop touring?”

  “I’ve been thinking about that quite a bit lately. You’re the first person I’ve said this to, so please keep it quiet. I’ve considered starting a production/training company where I would train up-and-coming musicians. I would also like to have studio space so I could record their music. I don’t have everything figured out just yet, but it’s an idea I’ve been rolling around for a while now. I know I don’t want to keep up the crazy touring schedule forever, and I would get bored if I wasn’t doing something productive.”

  “That sounds like a very ambitious project. I have no doubt you will excel in that realm as well.

  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  “Have you given any thought to where you might want to locate the school?”

  “I haven’t gotten as far as a locale. There are so many places I love. How about you? Have you ever considered writing something other than biographies? Or doing something completely different?”

  “I have a few ideas for romance novels,” Bianca said.

  “Really? Why haven’t you written them?” How does she keep getting better the more I know her?

  “I guess for a long time, I didn’t see them as ‘real’ writing. But I’ve discovered some fascinating lesbian fiction recently that has me reconsidering my views.”

  “I think romance gets a bad rap.”

  “Are you a fan?”

  “You could say that. I’d read anything you write.”

  “I’ll remember that.” Bianca smiled over the rim of her glass as she sipped her cocktail.

  Ava liked being the one to inspire that smile. She wanted to make it happen as often as possible. “In fact, I’ve downloaded all your books to my tablet. So far, I’ve not only read the Etheridge book, I also read the biography you wrote on Sandra Cisneros.”

  “You did not. Not many people even know about that book, I’m afraid.”

  “I did. I hadn’t realized you do historical biographies as well.”

  “I don’t usually. That was a passion project. I love her writing and wanted to find out more about her.”

  “It was really good. Your writing is so captivating. You made me want to know who she was. What inspired her? I’d never even heard of her before.”

  “Thank you. When I wrote it, I had a hard time deciding between her as my subject or Dolores Huerta. One day I’ll probably tackle a book about Dolores as well.”

  “Well, you can count on me to read that one too,” Ava said.

  As the waitress placed their dinners in front of them, Bianca took a moment to reflect on what she’d shared about Karen and their daughter. She could have come up with something less personal to share, but she knew that wouldn’t be authentic, and no matter what happened with her and Ava in the future, it was important to her that she be genuine too. Honesty and transparency would help build trust between them, and that was a good foundation for every relationship regardless of where this went. Bianca had mourned Karen and their unborn child. Tonight was not about them. This evening was about spending time with Ava, getting to know her better.

  She wouldn’t have hesitated if Ava wanted to go directly back to the hotel room and spend some more intimate time together. On one hand, she knew that was moving fast. On the other, it felt like they had known each other for a long time and it seemed they were headed that way. She was on the verge of suggesting they go back to her room when Ava spoke. “Would you like to go for cocktails at Top of the Mark?”

  “Ooh, my sister told me about that place, but I’ve never been. It would be fun to see it.”

  “I’ll just take care of the check and we can get out of here.”

  As they walked out of the restaurant, Bianca turned to Ava. “Thank you for dinner. It was incredible.”

  “You’re welcome.” Ava reached for Bianca’s hand and they walked to the waiting car together. “Speaking of your sister, are you excited to see her tomorrow?”

  “I am, very much.”

  “Good. Are you two close?”

  “I have a good relationship with all my siblings, but I’m definitely closest with Elena. We’re not closest in age, but we have similar mindsets about most things. It may also have something to do with both of us being lesbians.”

  “Oh I didn’t realize. That’s interesting. How do your parents do with that?”

  “I’ve never felt anything b
esides support and love from them. I prepared for more resistance than I got when I came out to them given the Catholic thing. I don’t know exactly what they thought, but they made me feel safe and loved and like my revelation wasn’t going to change anything between us and it didn’t.”

  “That’s great.”

  “It really was. Then, Karen and I were already together before Elena ever voiced a preference one way or another, so it was quite a non-event for her. She didn’t have to come out so much as confirm what most of us already suspected.”

  “Lucky her.”

  “Right? You’d think so. Sometimes she jokes that I stole all her thunder by coming out so many years before her.”

  “She sounds like quite a character.”

  “Oh, she is.”

  “I hope you have a wonderful time with her tomorrow. It looks like we’re here.” Once the car stopped at the curb, Ava got out and offered her hand to Bianca.

  Bianca stepped out of the car and linked her arm with Ava’s. She leaned into her as they crossed the lobby. She felt like she couldn’t get close enough. She ran her fingernail slowly up and down the inside of Ava’s arm, just above her wrist. The delicious shiver that ran through Ava delighted Bianca.

  They were alone in the elevator. As the doors closed, Bianca turned to Ava and gently pulled her down for a kiss. She meant for it to be a sweet, simple kiss. But as soon as their lips connected, her body responded quickly. Her nipples hardened, her heart raced, and her clit throbbed.

  Bianca wanted more. She needed more. She moved her hands from Ava’s neck down her back to grip her tight butt. She pulled Ava closer. There were too many clothes between them. Bianca wanted Ava under her, over her, it didn’t matter. She wanted her naked. The ding of the elevator brought her back to reality. She stepped back from Ava. They both struggled to catch their breath as the elevator doors slid open.

  “Wow,” Ava said softly.

  Bianca grabbed her hand and chuckled. “You can say that again.” As they walked through the door of the bar, Bianca was stunned by the dramatic views. The sun was just about to set over the Golden Gate Bridge. “Wow,” Bianca said.