Without Pretense Read online

  “Of course.” Vicki picked up Ava’s bags and headed for the Suburban hired to take them to Boston Logan Airport.

  Bianca stepped out into the sunshine and stood on the porch. Ava’s mouth went dry with desire. She hopped out of the truck and bounded up the stairs before the driver could grab the bags. She didn’t reach for them. Instead she stood in front of Bianca. “Is this everything?” Ava indicated the garment bag, suitcase, and laptop bag.

  “Yes. I only packed for four weeks. If I end up staying beyond that, I’ll need to find a laundry.”

  Ava breathed a sigh of relief. At least Bianca wasn’t giving up yet. “Ah, okay. You have your passport?”

  “I do.” Bianca stepped to Ava and put her hand on her arm. “Why are you so nervous?”

  Ava stared for a moment at the hand that centered her. Then she looked into Bianca’s eyes. “This feels like a really big deal. I don’t want to mess it up.”

  “Just be yourself and we’ll be fine.”

  Ava wished she could be so sure. “We should go. It will take at least three hours to get to the airport.”

  After everyone was settled in the Suburban, the driver headed toward Boston. Vicki sat in front, giving Ava and Bianca the roomy back seat.

  Bianca turned toward Ava getting comfortable in the seat. “How about we use this time for an informal interview, so you can get comfortable with some of the types of questions I’ll be asking you over the next few weeks or months?”

  “Um, okay, but remember our deal; I get to ask questions too.”

  “I remember.” Bianca studied Ava’s vibrant blue eyes and wondered again what it was about the idea of having her life story told that could make this successful, confident, woman so uncomfortable. This was such a stark contrast to every other situation she’d seen her in. There was something going on. “Let’s start with an easy one. Where were you born?”

  The corners of Ava’s mouth lifted into the barest hint of a smile. “St. Petersburg, Russia.”

  “What? Really?”

  Ava chuckled. “Not as simple as you thought, is it?”

  Bianca recovered quickly. She wondered what else she would learn about Ava during their time together. She was looking forward to the discovery. “Obviously, there is more that I need to learn about you than I thought. Please continue.”

  Ava nodded slightly. “I was born Katarina Alkaev. From what I’ve been told, my birth mother died during childbirth, and no father was listed on the birth certificate. The Wellingtons adopted me and I went to live with them in London when I was eight days old. They are all I’ve ever known. Here’s a fun fact, Alkaev means ‘wished for,’ and because I was, Mum and Dad kept that as my middle name.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “Very few people do,” Ava said matter-of-factly.

  “So, you grew up in London?”

  “For the most part, yes, in the southwestern part of London. It was a good childhood. My parents were always open with me about where I came from, and I knew how much I was wanted.”

  “That’s certainly more than some people can say. Do you have any siblings?”

  Ava stared out the side window so long, apparently lost in thought, Bianca started to think she wasn’t going to answer. When she finally did, her voice was low. “My parents adopted Lara when I was sixteen.”

  Was that hard for you? Did you feel replaced? Those were the questions she wanted to ask, but it felt too soon. Instead she asked the most obvious question. “You have a sister?” In her preliminary research, Bianca hadn’t uncovered that. She wondered if keeping her family life so private was her nature or a necessity of her fame.

  Ava didn’t say anything more.

  “Are you close?”

  “Not especially. With the age difference, my going to school abroad, and then my travel schedule, there was never a lot of time to really develop a deep bond.”

  There was no emotion in her voice, as though she’d prepared the answer and was simply reading from some hidden script. Almost like she was talking about a stranger. Her voice was flat. It was clear she did not want to elaborate further. In fact, Bianca got the sense Ava had no desire to talk about her sister at all. She wondered why. Ava had disengaged as quickly as she’d begun. Bianca made a note to return to this later.

  Bianca knew at some point they would need to delve deeper, but she saw no reason to push so early. She decided to take the conversation in a different direction. “When did music become a part of your life?”

  Ava visibly relaxed with the question. “Very early on, my mum had me taking piano lessons soon after I could climb up on the bench by myself. She found me playing with the keys one day. Apparently, I wasn’t pounding them like a lot of kids would. I was just pushing them down one at a time to listen to the sound each one made. The way she tells the story, I was delighted by the sound of each note. Soon afterward, she decided to find me a teacher and see where things went.”

  “How old were you?” Bianca asked.

  “Three. I was barely speaking full sentences yet. For my fourth birthday, my parents took me to a concert at the London Symphony Orchestra. The two major things I remember about that night are the fancy dress I got to wear and the solo violinist. I loved all the music, but when the soloist came onstage and played, I was mesmerized. I played those songs over in my head for days.”

  “I can imagine you in your fancy dress completely taken with the music.”

  “I was. I begged my parents for a violin after that. One day my father came home with a one-sixteenth-sized violin for me. I loved it. I transitioned to violin lessons and never looked back.” Ava grinned at Bianca. “Now, that’s enough about me. Where were you born?”

  “San Ysidro, California. My mom and dad came up from Mexico for the wedding of one of my mom’s cousins. She was only eight months pregnant at the time, but with the travel and the excitement of the wedding, she went into premature labor and had me at the hospital in San Ysidro.”

  “Any siblings?”

  “Four sisters and a brother. In fact, my sister Elena lives in San Francisco.”

  “You have a sister in San Francisco? Are you going to see her while we’re there this week?”

  “I’m going to try. But with her schedule and me working on the book, I didn’t know if I’d have time.”

  “You have to. You can’t go all that way and not see your sister.”

  Ava’s intensity surprised Bianca given her lackluster response to questions about her own sister. But she wasn’t going to argue if it meant seeing Elena. “Okay, I’ll figure out a way to make it happen.”

  “You could invite her to a show. I’ll leave a ticket for her. Then you two could have dinner afterward.”

  “You don’t have to do that. She’s my sister; I’ll figure it out.”

  Ava touched Bianca’s arm. “I’d like to, that is if you think she’d enjoy it.”

  Bianca covered Ava’s hand with hers, wanting to maintain the contact a moment longer. “I’m sure she would. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “What was life like for you growing up as an only child? Because that’s essentially what you were for most of your childhood, right?” Bianca asked.

  Ava took a moment to think before she spoke. “True. I don’t remember much before I was four or five, but it seems like the feeling of love and being wanted was always there when I was little. My mum was home all the time, and she played with me a lot even though I always had a nanny. We also had a housekeeper and a cook, so I guess my mum had the time to spend with me. I never thought anything of it until I left home. I mean everyone around me seemed to have the same things. It wasn’t until I got out into the world on my own that I realized how much privilege I had. Still have.”

  “Tell me something about your childhood that not a lot of people know,” Bianca said.

  Ava was quiet for several moments, perhaps trying to think of something that wasn’t so private. Finally, she smiled. “Whenever me
and my mum would go out on walks when I was little, she’d encourage me to touch the bushes, leaves, shrubs, flowers, and trees to feel the different textures and recognize or name the various colors. We would stop and watch ants march in straight lines and spiders spin intricate webs. We’d pick up rocks and watch birds take flight. My mum once told me she started the practice while I was still in the pram. I’m sure taking that time with each aspect of nature taught me to appreciate all the variations large and small in the world around me.”

  “I imagine that’s why you love nature and being outside so much.”

  “I believe it is. I’ll always be grateful to my mum for giving me those opportunities and experiences.”

  Bianca could almost imagine a little Ava so curious about the world. It made her wonder what that experience would be like.

  “What made you sad just now?” Ava asked.

  “Your story made me think about children. Specifically, what it would have been like to have had a little girl.”

  “I’m sorry. You know you could still have that someday.”

  “Maybe.” Bianca didn’t want to dwell on the past or think about an uncertain future right now. “Have you ever thought about having kids?” Bianca asked.

  “Um.” Ava paused. “Sure I’ve thought about it. But with my travel schedule it’s not very realistic. Ava looked out the window. “Oh wow, I didn’t realize we were already so close to the airport. Talking with you certainly makes time fly.”

  The abrupt change in Ava threw Bianca for a minute. She made a mental note to ask this question again when they wouldn’t be interrupted.

  Chapter Five

  Under Vicki’s watchful eye, all the bags were unloaded onto a flat cart. Bianca held onto her laptop bag and Ava carried her violin. They made their way inside, and Vicki led the way to the line for the first class check-in.

  Bianca stopped short and Ava barely avoided running into her.

  “What’s wrong?” Ava asked.

  “I’ve never flown first class. It’s not necessary. I can fly coach no problem.”

  “It’s one of the perks of the job. Besides, this way we can sit next to each other on the flight.”

  “Well, when you put it like that…”

  “Come on, it’ll be fine.”

  Bianca relented and followed Ava and Vicki as they all checked in and then through security. Her next surprise came when Vicki led them to one of the lounges for first class passengers. She’d heard about them but never been inside one. But she was confused by the sign on the door. “I don’t understand how we can go in here when we’re not flying on this airline.”

  Vicki held up three similar looking black cards. “These priority passes get us into most of the lounges in all the different airports we travel between. Ava prefers I carry hers. Would you like me to keep yours or would you like to hold on to it?”

  “Uh, I guess I’ll keep it. Thank you.”

  Vicki handed all three cards to the young man behind the counter. He scanned them and handed them back. She gave one to Bianca. Bianca felt the cold, hard plastic between her fingers and slipped the card into the side pocket of her bag. Shortly after the three of them were settled into seats, Bianca felt Ava stiffen next to her. She glanced up and then looked to where Ava’s gaze was fixed. Hank and Steven were walking toward them. Their styles could not have been more different. Hank was in a full three-piece suit, his tie tightly knotted. Steven wore a skintight salmon tank covered by an open button-down collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up, khaki slacks, and boat shoes.

  Ava announced, “I need a drink.” She stood and walked away.

  Hank followed her while Steven dropped into her vacant seat and whispered to Bianca, “Don’t go to her right now. The two of them need to work this out on their own. I get the feeling that for some reason Ava doesn’t want Hank to know about the understanding you’ve come to.”

  “She told you about our agreement?”

  “Yes, she tells me almost everything.”

  “Maybe it should be you I’m interviewing.”

  Steven shook his head. “You’re likely to get much less out of me than you are her. That’s why she trusts me.” His eyes twinkled. It was clear Ava’s secrets were safe with him.

  Bianca understood the close bond of siblings, and even though Ava and Steven weren’t related, she imagined their relationship was similar to what she had with her sisters and brother, so she didn’t bristle at the subtle warning. Instead she met Steven’s protectively fierce gaze squarely. “I won’t ever ask you to betray her confidence.”

  “Then you and I shouldn’t have any problem.”

  Bianca blew out an exaggerated breath. “Thank goodness, because no matter how much she likes me, I get the feeling if her mama bear had problems with me, it would be a very difficult decision.”

  Steven laughed loudly. “I don’t think either one of us want to find out who would win that one.”

  Ava reclaimed her seat next to Bianca almost as soon as Steven left. “What was that all about?”

  “We were just putting our cards on the table.”

  “I see. Anything I should be worried about?”

  “Nothing at all. He’s just looking out for you. I understand and appreciate anyone who wants to do that.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ve been wondering, will we always travel on Tuesday?”

  “Monday or Tuesday, depending on whether I have a lesson scheduled with students on Monday. If we travel Monday, Tuesday will be a free day. Every so often, if the Sunday show is early and there is no lesson the next day, we’ll travel Sunday night so we have both Monday and Tuesday free.”

  “In general, will every week be similar?” Bianca asked.

  “Basically, most places the shows are Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday evenings, and Sundays either late afternoon or evening, depending on the location. Sometimes there won’t be a Wednesday show. Mondays are when I do the lessons for every place that has a fellowship program or other music program like Tanglewood. Also, we’ll spend two weeks in London. That’s built into the schedule every time we’re there so I can spend a little time with my family.”

  “That must be nice.” Bianca wondered if she’d get to meet Ava’s family. It would certainly help to get that history and witness those dynamics if she was going to do a biography, but it wasn’t really needed for the article.

  “It is. I can ask Vicki to get you a more detailed schedule if you’d like. She already has it in her calendar.”

  “That would be nice. Thank you. I imagine you’ll have rehearsals with the different groups?”

  “Yes, those are generally several hours long on Wednesday, whether there is a show that night or not. Those can be pretty long days. On the plus side, Thursday is always off, so we can sleep in.”

  “Good to know. Will I be able to interview the students and other musicians, especially the ones you’ve worked with before?”

  “Do you need to?”

  “Yes, it would be helpful.”

  “I’m sure we can figure something out. It’s almost time to board. Are you ready?” Ava asked.

  There was a time in Bianca’s life when flying had been exciting and fun. It had been no problem for her when she’d flown across country from California to go to school in Amherst, Massachusetts. She and Karen had flown back numerous times to visit her family, and they’d traveled to Europe a couple times. Bianca never had any issues with the plane rides. But for the last two years, since Karen died, the thought of getting in a plane wracked Bianca with anxiety. Up until now, she’d managed to avoid it. Her family had all come to her for Karen’s funeral, and when she went to see them she’d opted for the longer train ride.

  She had known this time would come eventually, but so far she had managed to put it from her thoughts for the most part. She’d managed to push the fears to the side. But now, the time had come. If she was going to travel with Ava, she would have to get on that plane.

  Ther
e was no way to avoid it now, and the dread paralyzed her. She stared off into the distance, unable to tear her gaze away from the images playing through her mind of all the disasters that could happen during a flight. Her heart raced and white noise shut her ears to all the activity happening around her. Suddenly, the fog started to lift and she felt calmness settle over her. From far away she heard, “Bianca…Bianca look at me.”

  She fought to focus. Ava knelt in front of her, her hands gripping Bianca’s upper arms. Ava was all she could see. She took in the features of her beautiful face and the concern etched on it.

  “Bianca, are you okay?”

  Bianca nodded slightly, surprised that she almost meant it. Ava’s touch kept her focus in the present, not on all the things that might happen. “Yeah, sorry, I just need another minute.”

  When Ava started to release her, Bianca pleaded, “Please don’t let go of me. You’re the only thing keeping me from a full-blown panic attack right now.”

  Ava slid her hands down Bianca’s arms and clasped her hands. “What’s going on?”

  Before Bianca answered, she became aware enough of her surroundings to realize they had quite the audience. Steve, Vicki, and Hank looked on with concern. When Ava realized what Bianca was looking at, she took action. “How about the three of you board? Vicki, would you please take my case? Bianca and I will be right behind you.”

  Each of them looked relieved to have something concrete to do. Once they were gone, Ava refocused on Bianca.

  “What happened just now?”

  “I think it’s pretty safe to say I had a panic attack.”

  “I got that, but why?”

  “I haven’t been able to get on a plane since Karen died.”

  “Oh my God, Bianca, why didn’t you say something?”

  “I have to be able to get on a plane to keep up with you and your travel schedule.”

  “You know I don’t care about that. I do care about you.”

  Bianca appreciated the sentiment, but she couldn’t focus on that right now. “I care about doing a good job, and I can’t do that from Massachusetts while you travel all over the world. I want to do this. I knew what I was signing up for. I need to do this.”