Without Pretense Read online

  Ava laughed freely. “Exactly.”

  They were greeted and shown to a table near the windows.

  When the waiter arrived, Ava ordered a drink for them both while Bianca tried in earnest to take in all she could see. The buildings in the skyline were brightly lit as the evening darkened around them. As she stared at the night sky, she thought about Ava sitting next to her. The entire evening with her had been so comfortable. No awkward silences even when they were covering heavy topics. For the most part Ava was open and seemed genuine in what she had to say. The more she got to know Ava, the more she liked her. Ava gave herself completely when they were intimate. Bianca only wished she could figure out why there were other times when it felt like Ava was holding back.

  “I’m sorry what did you say?” Bianca glanced over at Ava who had pulled her from her deep thoughts.

  “I asked if you’re okay. You seemed really far away.”

  “I’m good. I was actually thinking about you.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, I was thinking about how much I’ve enjoyed this evening and how much pleasure I’m finding in getting to know you.”

  “I feel the same.” Ava stood and held out her hand. “Would you dance with me?”

  “I’d love to.”

  Ava led Bianca to the dance floor. As their bodies met and they began dancing, Ava simply let herself feel. She felt the texture of Bianca’s dress under her hand, their bodies pressed together, and Bianca’s silky hair against her cheek as they danced closely. Dancing with Bianca, being this close to her in a room full of people where she had to keep some modicum of decorum, was exquisite torture.

  She raised her head to gauge Bianca’s reaction to their closeness and found the same raw desire. In that moment, there was nothing that could have stopped her from kissing Bianca. Her entire being focused on that one thing, and the only thing she wanted right then was to explore Bianca’s lips again. She moved toward her, zeroed in, closed her eyes, and was surprised when her lips met Bianca’s cheek instead of her lips.

  Her eyes popped open and Ava tried to process what just happened. That’s when she realized there was a woman standing next to them and the music had stopped. She looked between Bianca and the woman, trying to put the pieces together.

  Then the woman spoke, looking directly at Ava. “I’m so sorry to disturb you, truly I am. But aren’t you Ava Wellington?”

  Ava cringed that someone had recognized her and ruined such an intimate moment with Bianca. It was unsettling. It wasn’t that she minded being seen with Bianca; she was only disappointed that their time together had been interrupted. Regaining her composure, she finally took a couple steps back from Bianca, after shooting her a quick look of regret. “Yes, I am.”

  “I’m such a huge fan,” the woman said.

  “Thank you, that’s always nice to hear. What’s your name?” Ava would have laughed at how automatic the response was if she wasn’t still throbbing for Bianca.

  “I’m Barb. Now that I’ve already crashed your date, I wonder if I could ask a huge favor.”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “I’m part of the trio playing the music tonight. We’re usually a quartet, but our second violinist is sick tonight. But I have her violin with me. It’s certainly not as good as what you regularly play, but would you possibly like to join us for a song or two?”

  Ava had only been vaguely aware of the trio playing soft, classical music before they walked to the dance floor. When they’d approach them though, almost as automatic as breathing, she noticed their individual techniques on their instruments. They clearly had some formal training. Ava looked back to Bianca who seemed unfazed but not unhappy. She met her gaze and raised her eyebrow in question.

  “Go ahead, if you’d like,” Bianca said.

  Ava turned to Barb. “Okay. Give me a minute and I’ll join you.”

  “Oh this is awesome. Thank you so much.”

  Ava took Bianca’s hand and walked her back to their table. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

  “I’m absolutely sure. I love seeing you play,” Bianca said.

  “All right. To be clear though, I would like a chance to make up for the interruption later.”

  “I’m happy to have you do that as well,” Bianca said.

  “Lovely.” Ava kissed Bianca on the cheek and went to join the trio.

  Fame wasn’t something Ava thought about often. She rarely focused on how well known she was in symphony and orchestral circles, never mind outside of them. Sometimes it amazed her that she was known outside that close-knit community. People probably wouldn’t know her at all if she hadn’t been asked to appear on some of the afternoon and late night talk shows.

  She loved sharing her music with anyone who wanted to hear it, and it didn’t matter to her that she was sometimes sandwiched between a teen actor or mega sports star and silly pet tricks. People connected with her music when they heard it and that was the important part. The music was everything. She had recorded more than two dozen albums, hoping to get her music out into the world, even when she couldn’t be there to play it in person.

  As famous as she was, even her biggest fans didn’t usually recognize her when she wasn’t dressed in the fashionable outfits and stage makeup she wore for the shows. When she took the fancy clothes off, wore muted makeup or none at all, and pulled her hair back, she could move in the world without being recognized. It was the best of all possible scenarios. It allowed her to travel pretty freely without being stopped frequently for pictures and autographs. Every so often, someone would look at her sideways as though they were trying to figure out why she looked familiar, but as long as she kept moving she was seldom disturbed.

  She never minded signing autographs when someone did recognize her. Even more, she enjoyed spending a few minutes talking about the music. What their favorite piece was, if they had one, which shows they had been to, Ava was comfortable around people when she could focus on the music.

  There was a trapping of her fame that Ava appreciated above all else. Being able to bring her team with her was essential for her. It made the road feel a bit less lonely. Having Steven there to make sure she was ready for every show, Hank tending to the business details, and being able to count on Vicki for everything else, it was a gift that allowed her to focus on the music. She was fortunate enough to be able to negotiate, or have Hank negotiate, her team into her appearance fees and accommodations.

  Even if she had to pay for them out of her own pocket, she would have done it because they made her job and her life easier by being at her side. But there were times like this when the little fame she did have took her away from what she would really rather be doing. She’d have to think of a way to make this up to Bianca.

  ***

  As they walked the short distance from the Mark to their hotel, Ava kept Bianca’s hand clasped in hers. Bianca didn’t seem to mind at all.

  “Thank you for this evening,” Bianca said.

  “You’re welcome. I’m sorry our dancing was interrupted.”

  “There is nothing to apologize for,” Bianca said smiling. “Like I said, I love watching you play. Sometimes I forget you’re famous.”

  “That may be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

  “It’s true. You’re an amazing musician and I know people recognize you. But when it’s just you and me, no matter what we’re doing, you’re simply an incredible woman who I’m really enjoying getting to know. I had a nice time tonight.”

  “Thank you for saying that. I had a great time as well, for the record. I’m sure you’ll see more of the city tomorrow with your sister. Where are the two of you having breakfast?”

  “Crepes on Cole.”

  “Oh, yum.”

  “You know it?”

  “Sure. It’s a great place.”

  “Would you like to come with us? I’m sure Elena wouldn’t mind.”

  “That’s really sweet. But I want
to let you two have time just for you two. I can still leave a ticket for her for the show tomorrow if she’s interested. Just let me know either way.” As much as I want to spend time with you, I’m not sure I’m quite ready to meet the family.

  “Okay.”

  Ava started to get nervous as they crossed the hotel lobby. Obviously, she would walk Bianca to her door. It was right across from hers, so that was a foregone conclusion, but then what? They had a delicious dinner and a fantastic evening. She didn’t want to ruin it now by making the wrong move. Once on the lift she stared at the floor indicator. As long as she remembered to breathe she’d probably be fine.

  “Are you okay?”

  Ava cleared her throat. “Sure. Why?” Totally not okay.

  “You just got really quiet all the sudden.”

  The doors opened, and they exited the lift, turning toward their rooms.

  “It may sound silly, but I don’t want to mess this up.”

  “What do you mean?” Bianca asked.

  “You, me, us. I don’t want to ruin it.”

  “Why do you think you’d ruin it?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t want to do the wrong thing here,” Ava said.

  They stood in front of Bianca’s door. Bianca pulled her keycard out of her purse.

  “So…what would you say if I asked you to come in?”

  “Are you asking me?” Ava couldn’t decide what she wanted the answer to be.

  “Yes.”

  Ava thought for a moment. Then she reached up and pushed a stray strand of hair behind Bianca’s ear. “I would respectfully decline.” She cleared her throat suddenly tight with lust. “I do. Respectfully decline. Please don’t misunderstand. There is nothing I’d like more than to go in there with you and see what happens. But I don’t want to rush anything between us. We have time to do this right.”

  “Fair enough. Can I get a good night kiss at least?”

  “That would be my pleasure.” Ava lowered her head. As soon as her mouth touched Bianca’s lips it was as though she’d been shot with a low level electric bolt. Her intended gentle kiss quickly turned into a raging inferno. She lost herself. She wanted to recant her previous declination. She stepped back and broke contact. She had to be strong. She had to do this right. “Good night, Bianca.”

  Bianca blinked several times seemingly trying to focus. She turned and opened her door. “Sweet dreams, Ava. If you change your mind you know where I am.”

  Ava desperately tried to catch her breath. She watched as Bianca shut the door. Her feet felt glued to the floor. Am I an idiot? Or am I doing the right thing here? The one doesn’t necessarily negate the other. She spun around and let herself into her room. She needed a cold shower and probably whiskey. Lots of whiskey.

  ***

  Bianca closed her door and leaned her forehead against it. She let out a long sigh. Whoa! She couldn’t decide how she felt about being by herself right now. She had not anticipated Ava turning down her invitation. It was very sweet that Ava wanted to give her time. When she thought about it, she was relieved. Their chemistry was off the charts. A little more time to adjust to that might be a stellar idea. Damn, Ava can kiss. Bianca was so turned on right now she had some difficulty walking across the room to undress. She removed her dress and hung it in the closet. She unhooked her bra and accidently on purpose grazed her nipples as she was sliding it off. She gasped as her nipples hardened. She wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight if she didn’t do something about the fire burning between her legs.

  She removed the remainder of her clothes and climbed into bed. She thought of Ava and played with her nipples. First softly and then she began pinching and tugging on them. She writhed under her own ministrations and knew it wouldn’t be long until she had to take care of the pressure building at her core. She reached down with both hands and spread her lips wide, using one finger on each side to tease. She couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped her lips.

  Normally, she would have started gently, stroking her clit with featherlight touches, but she was too far gone already. She needed to do it fast. She needed it now. She plunged one finger inside and rubbed her clit with the other. Harder. Harder. That’s it. Right there. The climax was so quick and so intense her hips bucked off the bed. She gentled her fingers but didn’t stop. The second orgasm rolled through her in a gentle wave. She melted into the pillows.

  As good as it was imagining being with Ava, Bianca knew her fantasies wouldn’t come anywhere close to the real thing. She’d just have to be patient and wait until Ava was ready. Or convince Ava that she herself was ready, if that was what was stopping her. She allowed herself a few minutes to recover. Then she went into the bathroom to remove her makeup and get ready for bed. When she climbed under the covers again, she smiled. Damn, that woman is in my head. Time for round two.

  Chapter Seven

  Bianca woke early and decided to take a trolley car to breakfast, or at least as close as she could get. Her spirits were high and she was excited to see her little sister. She made it onto the trolley with no difficulty and enjoyed the wind blowing through her hair. She took in the sights around her, but her thoughts kept returning to dinner and dancing with Ava.

  She was thrilled when she successfully navigated getting off the moving trolley. She looked quickly at the map she’d pulled up on her phone and headed toward the restaurant. Her heart lifted when she saw her sister out front. She was on her knees loving all over a golden retriever. Bianca strode quickly to them. “Is she yours?”

  Elena looked up, a smile lighting her face. “Hey, you. No, but you know me. I can’t pass up any canine without saying hello. Her owner just went to grab a coffee inside.”

  Bianca pulled Elena up for a hug. “I do know that. How are you, sister?”

  “I’m great. You?”

  “Fantastic.”

  Elena looked her up and down. “Are you finally getting some loving?”

  Bianca laughed. She missed this, the back and forth, the ease of their conversations. She talked to Elena all the time, but it was different in person. Even with video chatting, you missed part of the experience. “Not quite yet, but I’m working on it.” Hopefully, it will happen soon.

  “Hot damn.” Elena tugged on Bianca’s sleeve. “Let’s get some breakfast and you can tell me all about her.”

  Once they’d placed their orders and grabbed a table, Elena leaned in. “So…tell me everything.”

  “Well, everything would take all day. Let’s just say…Ava and I have agreed to explore the connection we both feel and we’re working on what that means. So far we’ve only had some amazing kisses. She says she wants to take it slow.”

  “Why did your brows just do that worried furrowed thing? Is going slow bad?”

  “It’s not bad. It’s just…not what I expected. Everything I’ve read about her led me to think she’s something of a player. So why would she put the brakes on when I’m signaling go in big neon letters?”

  “Maybe you’re special.”

  Bianca guffawed. “I doubt that.”

  “No, seriously. You said you met her two years ago, but only spent a couple minutes together and she didn’t forget you. Maybe you mean more to her than you know. Or…”

  “What’s the or? I want to know what’s behind door number two, please.”

  “Or maybe you just need to take control. Show her that you really, really want to move to the next step.”

  “What do you suggest?”

  “I’ll leave that to you. Use your imagination,” Elena said and winked.

  “I’ll have to give that some thought.” Bianca thought about little else when she was around Ava, so it wouldn’t be a stretch.

  “Is it hard for you at all?”

  “Which part?” Bianca asked, pretty sure she knew where Elena was going.

  “Wanting to sleep with the woman you’re supposed to be writing about professionally?”

  “I won’t say it’s easy.” Well, the w
anting part is easy. It’s just the rest that gets complicated.

  “Why did you take this job?” Elena asked.

  “Needing a job isn’t enough of a reason?”

  “But you don’t. Not really. I saw the will, remember, and the insurance settlement. Karen left you in a really good place financially. If you’re careful with your money, you don’t ever have to work again if you don’t want to. So I can only guess it has something to do with this particular woman? What’s so special about her?”

  “That’s exactly what I want to find out. The truth is I’m exhausted. I’m tired of being numb, of not feeling a whole lot of anything. I have spent more than two years working my way through my grief of losing Karen and our unborn child and there were some pretty extreme emotions in that mix.”

  “I know,” Elena said.

  “But ever since I’ve reached the last stage of loss and moved to acceptance, there hasn’t been a whole lot of feeling at all. I walk through my house and it feels so empty and cold. There is no life there. I feel stuck.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Elena reached for Bianca’s hand to offer comfort.

  “It’s not something that’s easy to explain. Anyway, when I met Ava two years ago, even in the height of my grief, she was able to reach me.”

  “What do you mean?” Elena asked.

  “I didn’t really understand it. But when she sat down next to me, I barely noticed. Then, a simple touch from her and the fog began to lift. I still felt overwhelmed and sad, but there was something about the way she was just there. Her presence was comforting and kind.” Bianca shook her head. “I know it all sounds a little crazy and back then it scared the crap out of me, but I think she may be exactly what I need to work my way out of this funk. So, to answer your question, I took the job for two reasons. First, I think she is an exceptional woman and musician whose story needs to be told to the world. But I also took it for very personal reasons.”