Without Pretense Read online

  “Great.” Bianca pulled out her mini-recorder. “How about we make use of the time with some more questions?”

  “Lovely,” Ava said dryly but playfully.

  “I’m going to choose to take that to mean you’re agreeable and not with the sarcasm your tone implied.”

  “Come on then.” Ava figured they might as well get the questions out of the way so they could enjoy the gardens.

  “What drives you?” Bianca asked.

  “You mean besides the driver Vicki hired?”

  “Be serious. What compels you to get out of bed every day?”

  “Music.”

  “That is the pat answer and too easy. There has to be something more.”

  “Why does there have to be?”

  “Because there always is. What is it, what makes you get up day after day and lead this crazy life you have?”

  Ava looked like she wanted to be anywhere but where she was in that moment.

  “Come on,” Bianca said. “Do you know you actively avoid meaningful questions?”

  Ava thought for a moment. “I guess, honestly, it’s the fear of failure.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I asked for this life. Let’s face it, most thirteen-year-old kids don’t decide they want to go to school three thousand miles away from home and everything and everyone they know.”

  “True.”

  “Once my parents said yes, every day since has been a way to show them that it was worth it. I had to make them proud and be successful, to prove to them and myself that I could reach the expectations I set for myself.”

  “I’m pretty sure most people, including your parents would say you’ve more than exceeded those expectations.”

  “Maybe.”

  “You don’t think so?” Bianca asked.

  “I guess most days I do. But I still want to show them that all the sacrifices they made for me were not in vain.”

  “Seems you made a lot of sacrifices of your own.”

  “Not that many, I don’t think.”

  “Really? What about any sense of a normal childhood?”

  “What’s normal really? I was doing what I wanted to be doing, what I loved. It didn’t seem like I was giving up a lot to go to school where I wanted to.”

  “Well, you said ‘not many,’ which indicates you do feel like you made some. What would you say were your biggest one or two sacrifices?”

  “Without a doubt, the biggest one has been all the time I have to spend away from my family. If there was one thing I could go back and change, I would find a way to spend more time with Lara and my parents.”

  “I’ve been wanting to ask you about when you began touring. You were seventeen when you first started, is that right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Was there ever any discussion that one of your parents should go with you? You were so young.”

  “Not that I remember. I mean they had just adopted Lara, so it didn’t really make sense for them to travel with an infant. I’m not sure it was ever even discussed as an option. I had already been away at school for a while at that point, so it’s not like they were with me all the time anyway.”

  “Right. About school. I put together a timeline. I noticed a bit of a gap where you left school, and it looks like you returned a year later and went to a different school. What happened there?”

  “That was a long time ago. Does it even matter?”

  “Understanding the things that shape who you are is important. These are your formative years so, yes, it matters.”

  “Yeah, I get that. I just don’t know why something from two decades ago has to have any bearing on who I am today.”

  Bianca found it interesting that Ava hadn’t said she didn’t remember. It was as though she was deflecting. Trying to get Bianca to overlook that period of her life. “Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. I can’t really make that call or know if it matters if I don’t know the details.”

  “I’m sorry, but…I’m not comfortable discussing that time in my life.”

  “Hey, what’s going on? After all we’ve shared, you don’t want to tell me about something that happened when you were a teenager? How bad could it be?”

  Ava looked like she was going to be sick. “I can’t do this. I don’t want to. Please, Bianca, let this go.”

  Obviously, there was more to this than Bianca had realized. Now she had to make a critical decision. One that could cause her to lose Ava’s trust if she handled it the wrong way. On the other hand, if she didn’t pursue this, was she letting her personal feelings get in the way of her professionalism? If she only ended up writing the article, it probably wouldn’t matter at all.

  She didn’t care to think too hard about the ethics of this while Ava was looking at her as if this point could change everything between them. Did she have to make a choice in that moment? Ava or writing. Was there something from Ava’s past that could have such a large impact on the story? Did it matter?

  That answer came easier than the others. As Ava watched her with fear in her eyes, Bianca made the only decision she could. “Okay, Ava, I won’t dig any further right now. I hope, in time, you will trust me enough to tell me the story on your own.”

  Ava’s sigh of relief was audible. “Thank you. I do want to tell you the story at some point. I just can’t do that yet.”

  Bianca knew she’d made the decision with her heart, and it was the right one for her as a woman, but she wondered how long the reporter in her would taunt her for giving up on the story. She was able to quiet that part of her brain for now by acknowledging to herself that she hadn’t let Ava totally off the hook. She’d simply agreed to give her time. That didn’t mean she couldn’t look later if she decided it was necessary.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bianca loved watching Ava on stage. Her confidence in front of massive crowds. The playful exchanges with the other musicians. The way Ava could make her feel like she was playing only for her in a roomful of thousands of strangers. All these things made her feel special. Then there was the way Ava’s strong, toned arms played such beautiful music. The brilliant light in her sapphire eyes when she played a particularly difficult piece to perfection, and the way her long, adept fingers worked magic on the violin. Every time Bianca watched Ava make music, every single time, she got turned on.

  As soon as the concert ended, she made her way to Ava’s dressing room. Bianca walked directly to Ava and kissed her. “Great show, you were fantastic. How soon can we get out of here?”

  “Thanks. Um, I need to make an appearance at the merchandise table. Then I’d like to change out of this dress. Maybe forty-five minutes tops.”

  “Make it thirty and I’ll make it worth your while.”

  Bianca watched as Ava got her meaning and saw the lust and desire in her eyes.

  “I’ll make that happen.”

  “Good.”

  ***

  Once Ava and Bianca arrived back at the hotel, they made their way quickly through the lobby and up to the room. The door had barely closed before Ava pushed Bianca against it. She kissed her hard, deliberately. The lust ripping through her couldn’t be contained. Bianca was just as frantic. She gripped Ava’s shoulder tightly. Ava reached behind Bianca and unzipped her dress and quickly pushed it down. She pushed up her bra, not bothering with the clasp, and pulled Bianca’s nipple into her mouth. She sucked it while she squeezed the other breast. Bianca’s hips were thrusting, seeking.

  Ava plunged her hand into Bianca’s panties and slid her fingers over her hot, wet folds. She only brushed her swollen bundle of nerves, causing a moan to escape from Bianca’s lips. She drove two fingers into her. She fixed her gaze on Bianca’s face and watched her ride to a frenzied orgasm. Ava came with her, still fully clothed.

  “Jesus, babe, what was that?”

  “Did I hurt you?” Ava asked.

  “Hell no. That was amazing.”

  “I’ve been so wound up all day. Plus I always hav
e a little extra energy after a good performance. I couldn’t help myself.”

  “I’m not complaining. At all. As previously stated…amazing. I just have one question,” Bianca said.

  “What’s that?”

  “Why do you still have clothes on?”

  “No idea.” Ava started to unbutton her shirt.

  “Stop.”

  Ava froze with the soft command.

  “Turnabout is fair play; you undressed me, now I get to undress you.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Ava’s hands dropped to her sides.

  “That’s better.”

  Bianca took Ava’s hand and led her into the bedroom. She removed her own bra, panties, and shoes that Ava had never gotten fully off in their hasty but delightful coupling moments before. She stood naked a few feet from Ava and simply let her look. She could see the desire burning in her eyes and her breathing grew heavier. It was a powerful feeling to arouse Ava.

  She knelt down and removed Ava’s boots. Then she slowly drew down her jeans having her step out of them, leaving her panties on for the moment. “Spread your legs just a bit.”

  Ava complied.

  Bianca gently slid her hands up Ava’s smooth legs and gripped her bottom. She squeezed and pulled Ava to her. She placed a soft kiss on her covered mound at the apex of her legs. She felt Ava

  start to quiver. “Patience, darling, we’re going to take this very slowly.”

  “I think I need to lie down.”

  “Oh you will, but only when I say.”

  Ava nodded slightly. “As you wish.”

  Bianca stood and began to unbutton Ava’s shirt. She placed a light kiss on each uncovered patch of skin. Ava was trembling steadily now. Bianca pushed her shirt over her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. She studied Ava in her bra and panties. She licked her lips. She wanted so badly to taste her, but she was committed to going as slowly this time as they had gone fast a short time before.

  She clasped Ava’s hand and led her to the bed. “Turn around.”

  Ava turned to face the bed. Bianca unhooked her bra. She reached around and massaged her breasts, pressing her own into Ava’s back. She worked her nipples into stiff peaks. Without ever lifting her hands, she moved to Ava’s panties. She pulled them down so very slowly. Ava whimpered. Finally, she said, “Lie on your stomach across the bed.”

  “Bianca,” Ava’s words were a plea, “I need…”

  “I know what you need. Lie down.”

  Ava protested no further. She lay on the bed, face down. Her arms near her head, her cheek against the soft duvet. Simply waiting to discover what Bianca had in store for her was a tremendous turn on all by itself. Her clit throbbed so hard, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

  She wanted to, more than she would have thought possible. No woman had ever tried to dominate her. She had no idea how hot it would be. Being able to cede control to someone, not having to make every decision. She’d never considered the way that would free up her mind to simply enjoy all that was happening.

  She’d never felt more exposed or vulnerable. On the other hand, no woman before Bianca had ever made her feel so secure and safe. Nobody had ever spent so much time showing her how much she was treasured and craved. She was willing to do anything Bianca wanted her to, as long as she didn’t stop touching her.

  She felt Bianca climb onto the bed and heard herself whimper. Bianca was driving her mad and she wasn’t even touching her at the moment. Bianca swung her leg over Ava and straddled her back. Ava sucked in a breath as Bianca’s wet center made contact with her skin. “You’re so wet.”

  “You do that to me. Now, close your eyes and relax. Let me take care of you.”

  Ava shut her eyes and waited. Bianca shifted and her hair shrouded Ava’s face a moment before Bianca kissed the side of her neck, her shoulder and slowly, ever so slowly, started working her way down Ava’s body. Whisper soft kisses and featherlight touches on the sides of her breasts made her nipples harden more. Soft massages of her bottom, with Bianca’s thumb brushing through her slick lips made her center clench in anticipation.

  Ava lost all sense of time, but it seemed Bianca was in no hurry. That was fine with her. She could not remember being so worked up before. She loved the journey Bianca was taking her on. But she needed release. Soon. The languid caresses shot pulses directly to Ava’s clit, and she couldn’t resist any longer. “Please, Bianca.”

  “Please, what?”

  “Please.”

  “Tell me what you need.”

  “I need you. Inside me. Finish it. Please.”

  “Get on your hands and knees.”

  Ava did as she was told. She stuck her ass in the air, willing to give Bianca anything she wanted. Bianca rewarded her immediately. She thrust two fingers into Ava’s slick hole and reached around with her other hand, sliding her fingers through her wet folds until she landed on her swollen clit. “Jesus!”

  So many sensations all at once, Ava was overcome. Her body took over and she ground back onto Bianca’s fingers. Bianca stayed with her, thrusting into her from one side and fingering her bundle of nerves from the other. Under such a wondrous attack, Ava had no hope of holding out for very long. As the orgasm tore through her she flooded Bianca’s hands and collapsed onto the bed. She couldn’t move; she couldn’t even think for several moments.

  The next thing she was aware of was the weight of Bianca on her legs. She had lain across her, apparently to get a better angle. She licked and sucked up all the juices on Ava’s well loved pussy. The sexy sounds Bianca was making drove Ava up even higher than before. She thrust her hips to ride Bianca’s tongue, and in no time at all she came again.

  Bianca crawled up next to Ava so she could see her face. She gathered her close as the aftershocks settled. She kissed her forehead, her nose, and finally her mouth. Ava opened her eyes.

  “Oh my God, how do you do this to me every time?”

  “What do I do to you?” Bianca asked.

  “You leave me completely spent.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “No, of course not. It’s fantastic. I just can’t seem to keep up with you,” Ava said.

  “Oh, I think you keep up just fine. You were the one who started this you know. You pinned me to the door when we were barely in the room.”

  “Oh yeah, I did do that, didn’t I?”

  “You certainly did. There is something to be said for frenzied and frantic,” Bianca said.

  Ava rolled onto her side and scooted as close as she could get to Bianca. She kissed her, thoroughly, completely, leaving them both breathless. “There’s also something to be said for slow and thorough.”

  “No reason we can’t have both.”

  Ava rolled them so she lay on top of Bianca. “I like the way you think.” She bent her head down for another kiss.

  Later, Bianca lay beside Ava, who had dropped off into slumber. She was fully satiated and content. Ava looked even younger at rest. Her always inquisitive, curious eyes were shut. Her full lips were relaxed into a gentle smile. Her golden hair fanned out around her face and created a partial halo on the pillow.

  The depth of emotion Bianca felt welling up in her was unwelcome if not completely unexpected. She didn’t want what was between her and Ava to be complicated. They were supposed to keep it simple and carefree. Nothing felt easy right now. She was developing real feelings for Ava. She was in danger of losing her heart to Ava. Maybe she already had.

  ***

  Ava and Bianca entered the reception room together. They maintained a modest distance from one another as this was a work function for Ava. Being groomed from a very young age to handle any social situation with ease and grace, didn’t mean Ava had to like them. She wasn’t very comfortable with people. Performing for thousands up on a stage was easier than chatting with a small group at a cocktail party.

  Unfortunately, she was frequently called upon to do just that. Most of the big symphonies had
either before or after parties for their largest donors. This required the musicians, all of the musicians, to mingle. Having Bianca attend them with her made the conversation feel less forced. Everything seemed to be easier with Bianca at her side.

  “How about I get us some wine?” Bianca asked.

  “I would appreciate that.”

  ***

  Bianca stood at the bar trying to get the bartender’s attention. He was busy on the other side of the bar, so she settled in to wait. When she felt someone tap her shoulder she turned, half expecting it to be Ava. She was surprised to see a stranger next to her.

  “Excuse me, are you BJ Vega?”

  Bianca was surprised someone was addressing her by name. She looked up to study the woman. She was tall and lanky with olive toned skin and short spiky black hair with a bit of gray at the temples. Her gray eyes were wide with interest. Her wide mouth set in a friendly smile. She was, in a word, gorgeous. “I am, but how did you know that?”

  The stranger held out her hand. “I’m a big fan.”

  “Of mine?”

  “Of your writing. But now that you mention it, I could quickly become a big fan of yours,” she said with unmistakable flirtation.

  Bianca shook her hand. “Thank you for the first, not interested in the second.” Bianca turned back to the bar and the woman stood beside her.

  “Too bad. I’m Wren by the way.”

  “Hello, Wren. When I’m not writing, I’m Bianca. Are you with the orchestra?”

  “No, I’m a singer.”

  Bianca looked harder at the woman next to her. “Wait. Are you Wren Stark?”

  “Guilty.”

  “How do you know about my work and what are you doing in Berlin?”

  “I’ve been reading a lot of biographies lately and I came across yours on Etheridge. It was genuine and compelling. I like your style.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m actually in Berlin looking for you.”

  “Seriously?”

  “As I said, I’m a big fan and I’m looking for someone