Without Pretense Read online

  “Good.” Ava leaned in for a kiss.

  Once they were in the elevator Bianca asked, “Do you have a plan for today or are we literally just wandering around?”

  “I thought we could head for the Castro and then check out Haight-Ashbury. Once we’re ready for that late lunch, we could eat at Delfinas in the Mission District. I’m open to any and all modifications to this plan and we can definitely stop anywhere you want.”

  “I’m good with it, but I’d like to reserve the right for changes along the way,” Bianca said.

  “Brilliant.”

  “So why the Fairmont Hotel?” Bianca asked as they left the building.

  “Well, first, it’s one of the nicest hotels in the city. I also like the history of it. Two women had it built to honor their father. Even better than that is when the interior was seriously damaged in the 1906 earthquake, a female architect and engineer named Julia Morgan was hired to repair the building because of what, at the time, was her innovative use of reinforced concrete. There is a ton of history in this area, but that story stuck out to me. So, whenever we’re in San Francisco I prefer to stay at the Fairmont.”

  “Do you have a hotel preference in every city on the tour?”

  “Most of them. There is still a place every now and then where I’m trying to find someplace that really appeals to me.”

  “Is cost ever a factor in your decision? You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I’m sorry if that was out of line.”

  “Why? You’re asking me everything else about my life, why is money suddenly off limits?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t know if it’s an important part of the story yet.”

  “You’d be surprised how important it is to my story. I know it and I’m very grateful.”

  “Why is that?”

  “My parents’ money allowed me to have opportunities other children never have. They were able to send me to the best schools, for both education and music. Sure, I needed the drive and talent to succeed at those schools, but affording them was never something I had to worry about. They were able to provide me with nannies and tutors when they couldn’t be with me.

  Even now, most concert musicians don’t make enough to live the lifestyle I live. At this point, I supplement with the trust that came to me from my grandmother when I turned twenty-one. I’ll come into even more money when I turn thirty-five. I have more money than I know what to do with, and I’m already doing what I love. So, to answer your original question, no, cost is not usually a factor when deciding where to stay.”

  “Fair enough.” Talent, beauty, compassion, and money…Ava really was the complete package. It was hard to believe someone hadn’t already snatched her up and taken her off the market. Bianca no longer had to worry about where her next check was coming from again, Karen had seen to that, but she couldn’t imagine having more money than she knew what to do with. Ava’s wealth was incomprehensible. It shouldn’t matter, but it actually made Bianca a little uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure why.

  “Do you ever wonder if the women you date are after you for your money?” Bianca asked.

  “It’s never really come up. I have spent time with a lot of women, maybe not as many as the tabloids report, but certainly more than my fair share. The thing is I’ve never had a long-term relationship before. My lifestyle doesn’t make one of those easy. So, I’ve never had to worry about why anyone was with me beyond a night or two, a few weeks at the most.”

  “Oh.” Bianca’s mind was whirring too much to come up with anything more coherent than the single word. She was focused on the before that Ava had used. Did that mean she thought they could have a long-term relationship? Or was she saying she had no interest in one?

  “Should I be worried that you’re only interested in me for my money?” Ava said it with a grin, but Bianca could tell there was something under the lighthearted tone.

  Bianca shook off her deep thoughts. “No, of course not. I’m after you for your body.” Bianca was joking, but when Ava frowned and turned away from her, she worried that Ava had taken it differently than she intended. “Did I say something wrong?”

  When Ava didn’t respond, she touched her arm. “Hey, I was kidding.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you?”

  Ava finally looked at her. There was moisture in her eyes. “It’s just that…”

  “What?”

  “You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted it to be more than that with. This is about more than the sex for me.”

  “It is for me too, Ava. I shouldn’t have made that joke. You are special to me. It’s not about your money, your body, or any other singular thing. It’s all of you. Every part of who you are and the connection we have. I’m sorry if I made what is between us feel like less than what it is.”

  Ava reached out and stroked Bianca’s cheek. “It’s okay. Really it is. Can we maybe put this behind us and enjoy this beautiful day?”

  “I love that idea.”

  ***

  Ava slid out of bed as gently as she could and made her way to the balcony door. She quietly opened the sliding glass door, leaving it open behind her. The cool night breeze felt delicious on her bare skin. She was glad for the dark and the seclusion of the balcony away from any signs of life or intruding light. It was just her and the few stars she could see overhead.

  She grasped the railing, trying to stay grounded. Bianca was in her head. They’d had a wonderful day wandering all over San Francisco. After getting past those few awkward moments, they talked and laughed for hours. Then, they’d returned to the hotel and had more mind-blowing sex. Bianca was still asleep in the bed she’d just left.

  Ava had awakened feeling energized and knew she wouldn’t sleep again right away, even though it was the middle of the night. The cool night air soothed her overheated body. Her mind, on the other hand, was still racing with thoughts of Bianca and how different being with her was than any of her previous experiences.

  Ava had never been a touchy-feely person. The women she’d dated before would be shocked by her current behavior. There was something about Bianca. Ava had a near compulsion to touch her as often as possible. Walking anywhere, she reached for her hand. Simply passing behind on her way to the other room, she brushed her shoulder or back. When they sat chatting or eating, she wanted to be close enough to gently squeeze her arm or leg. Whenever she made contact with her skin, as smooth as warm cream, she was soothed deep inside. If Bianca knew the truth about Lara, would she ever let her touch her again?

  The secret Ava was keeping felt like an anchor weighing her down, keeping her from being able to truly let Bianca in. Would she ever be able to let go? She stood and watched the lights blink across the distant skyline.

  ***

  Bianca stirred from sleep as the gentle breeze rustled her hair. She reached to snuggle closer to Ava, but her hand landed on the cold mattress. She woke more fully. Once her eyes adjusted to the dimness enshrouding the room, she saw Ava’s silhouette beyond the open balcony door. She rose and pulled her robe on without tying it.

  She walked onto the balcony and wrapped her arms around Ava, allowing the robe to shield her from some of the breeze. “Aren’t you cold?”

  Ava leaned her naked body back into Bianca and moaned as their bodies connected. “Not at all, I’m quite warm still. I’m sorry if I woke you. That’s what I was trying to avoid.”

  Bianca slid her hands slowly up and down Ava’s side. “What do you mean?”

  “I woke up wanting to touch you, but I didn’t want to disturb you. You looked like you were sleeping so peacefully.”

  Bianca lightly kissed Ava’s back and moved her hands around to massage her breasts. Her own center throbbed and her nipples hardened as Ava’s breathing changed. “You should never hesitate to wake me if that ever happens again.” She gently pinched Ava’s nipples to stiff peaks.

  Ava gripped the rail harder as Bianca moved her hands south. “Hmmm. Go
od to know.”

  “What are you out here thinking about in the middle of the night?”

  “Honestly? You and what you do to me.”

  Bianca slid two fingers through Ava’s wet mound, exposing her clit to the gentle breeze.

  “Oh God.” Ava pushed back into Bianca’s center.

  Bianca kissed Ava’s shoulder and kept working her center slowly, tenderly. “What do I do to you?”

  Ava sucked air through her teeth as Bianca grazed over a particularly sensitive spot. “Christ. This. You do this to me. I’m a quivering pile of mush, putty in your hands. You slay me.”

  Bianca dipped one finger briefly into Ava and then slid it up to circle her clit lightly. “Hmmm. Do you like it?”

  “God yes. Please don’t stop.”

  Bianca adjusted her hand, so her thumb could continue working Ava’s clit as she slid two fingers deep inside her. “Baby, I’m not gonna stop until you’re all done.”

  Ava sank down on Bianca’s fingers and rode them hard. She closed her eyes, blocking out all sensation aside from the scent, sounds, and touch of Bianca. She lost track of time as she thrust herself down on Bianca’s fingers over and over until her body went still and she rode into oblivion.

  As Ava came back to herself, Bianca was tenderly sliding her fingers over her clit, inspiring gentle aftershocks. Bianca’s words came back to her. She laid her hand on Bianca’s. “Baby, I’m done.”

  Bianca’s hand stilled. She kissed Ava’s neck. “Okay?”

  “Hmmm. So much better than okay.” Ava bumped back into Bianca, who groaned at the contact. Ava turned and looked at her. “Seems you’re still a little ways from okay.”

  “I’m all right.”

  “Why would you say that when I’m right here to take care of you?”

  “I got a lot of satisfaction from making you come.”

  “Satisfaction possibly, but not satiation obviously.” Ava spun them and pinned Bianca to the rail. “Please, allow me.” She crushed her mouth to Bianca’s and kissed her deeply. She moved her hand quickly down her body. She left no time for thought, only sensation. She slid through Bianca’s wet lips. She was ready. Ava lifted her head, so she could gaze into Bianca’s eyes. She plunged two fingers into her but quickly added a third. She pumped into her over and over until she crested and cried out. Watching her face as she orgasmed was the most stunning sight Ava had ever seen.

  She kissed Bianca softly. “Better?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.”

  “Ready to go back to bed?” Bianca asked.

  “I don’t think I’m sleepy yet.”

  “Good, that’s exactly what I was hoping.” Bianca pulled Ava through the doors and to the bed.

  Chapter Ten

  Bianca, Ava, and her entire entourage sat in the airport lounge waiting for their flight to be called. They were flying to Germany. Bianca was much more aware that she was getting on a plane today. Last time she’d been able to block it out for the longest time because everything was so new, but today she was anxious. She was trying to cover her nervousness by asking Ava more questions. Ava laid her hand on Bianca’s arm. “Look at me.” Bianca met her gaze. “Hi.”

  “Hello?”

  “You don’t need to try to hide your fear from me.” Ava squeezed her arm gently.

  Bianca sighed. “How could you tell?”

  “It’s not any one thing. I think I’m getting to know you better. Your brow is furrowed, I can tell your shoulders are tense from all the way over here, and every so often you’re reminding yourself to breathe. Plus, it kind of gave it away that you just asked me the same question three times.” Ava leaned forward as she spoke.

  “I guess trying to distract myself with questions wasn’t really my best plan.”

  “Not so much. I’ve got you. We’ll get through this together.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So, why don’t you let me rub your shoulders and you can tell me about where you would go with your sisters if you could go anywhere for a long girls’ weekend.”

  Bianca looked over to where Hank sat twenty feet away. “Aren’t you worried about Hank seeing us?”

  “No. It finally occurred to me, he works for me so there’s nothing he can do. As mad as I was and still am at him for going behind my back, he brought you back into my life, so I’m grateful for that.”

  Bianca turned to give Ava a better angle for the massage, which also allowed her to hide her smile in reaction to Ava’s words. “Hmm, that feels good. Okay. Well, let’s see, a girl’s trip, huh? I think that would depend on the time of year. For a long weekend, it would make the most sense to stay in the States, I think. I love autumn in New England. The foliage is beautiful. But we could go to Big Bear in California if we wanted something fun to do in the winter, or we could also do Napa Valley, well, any time of year.”

  Ava could feel Bianca relaxing as she spoke about all the places she’d visit with her sisters. “Sounds like you’d like to hang out with them almost anywhere.”

  “Yeah, pretty much. I love them. Sometimes I hate that we live so far away from one another. But I love New England too much to move back to the West Coast.”

  Most of the time Ava was grateful her family lived so far away. It was easier not to have to face the mistakes of her past every day. The announcement for their flight came over the loudspeaker. Ava felt Bianca tense under her hands. “Relax. You’ve got this. Let’s go together.”

  “Okay.”

  Ava reached for Bianca’s hand the moment she stood up. “So, is there anything you’re looking forward to seeing in Berlin?”

  “Pretty much everything. I’ve never been so I’m excited about all of it.” Bianca picked up her bag.

  “I still remember my first trip there. It’s a wonderful city and we should have some time to explore it together. The thing that stood out to me was that nobody jaywalks. Every single person down to the youngest child waits for the walk signal at the street crossings. Spending so much of my teenage years in New York, it was a stark contrast.”

  “Why do you think it’s like that?”

  “I think it’s about the culture of following the rules, but I’m not sure.”

  “Interesting.”

  They had managed to get into their seats on the plane and Ava had ordered a couple of gin and tonics. Now she just needed to think of a question or two that would get them through takeoff. “What was it that drew you to writing and how did you decide to make it a career?”

  “Well, that story could take a while.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  Bianca thought for a minute on where to begin her story. “When I first began studying journalism, I expected to work my way up the ranks at a newspaper or a magazine. Later, Karen suggested another option and encouraged me to work freelance.”

  “Was that something that appealed to you?” Ava asked.

  “There were a lot of benefits. For example, I was home more and I got to pick the pieces I worked on.”

  “Those are great things.”

  “Yes, they are. I loved it. I probably worked even harder those first few years, because I had to find the work rather than an editor handing me a piece to research or write. But in the end, I get to set my own hours and if I want to work on other projects, such as writing biographies, I get to do that too.”

  “Sounds like a great gig.”

  “It is. Freelancing also allows me the freedom to travel since I can write from almost anywhere. But there is still some extra work involved, especially when shopping around a piece or deciding which magazine to approach for a particular story.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “I used to travel with Karen on her business trips, so it meant a lot more time for the two of us. The only reason I wasn’t with her the day she died was it was only supposed to be a one-day trip down to DC and back.”

  “I imagine it’s very hard to think about that.”

  “Not as hard as it u
sed to be. I’m trying to focus on the future rather than the past. And right now my job allows me to pick up and travel with you for as long as the job lasts.” Bianca was excited to explore new places. Given the brief but thorough tour Ava had given her of Tanglewood and San Francisco, she suspected she was going to be a wonderful guide on this trip, if they had time to play tourist together. Either way, Bianca planned to spend time getting to know all the cities they traveled to.

  ***

  Bianca glanced at Ava as they climbed from the shower. They’d arrived in Berlin late the night before and had fallen into bed exhausted as soon as they got to the room.

  “What shall we do today?”

  “I’d love to show you some of my favorite places in Berlin.”

  “Let’s do it,” Bianca said.

  “I’ll ask Vicki to order a driver for us for the day.”

  “Do you ever drive?”

  “Very rarely. Only when I don’t have any other choice,” Ava said.

  “So, I should have been more leery of you driving on our first date?”

  “Obviously, but driving the jeep in the Berkshires is about the best driving scenario there is for me. The speeds don’t get too high, and I can have the top down and not worry about the air quality. For the most part, I’d much rather leave the driving to someone else and not have to deal with traffic and parking.”

  “You’re fortunate to have that choice.”

  “I’m fortunate for so many reasons, not the least of which is that you’re here with me right now,” Ava said.

  “Keep talking like that and we might never leave this room.”

  “Would that be so bad?” Ava couldn’t decide which option she would prefer.

  “I’m sure it wouldn’t be, but I want to see some place that’s special to you.”

  Ava held out her arm. “In that case, right this way, m’lady. Your chariot awaits.”

  “How long is the trip?” Bianca asked as they settled into the car headed for the Berlin-Dahlem Botanical Gardens.

  “Nearly forty-five minutes. The gardens are on the outskirts of Berlin.”